The term "toxic parents" appeared in our life not so long ago. But it's very important. What is it and how to recognize it?
It's no secret that there are simply "bad children", there are victims of circumstances, there are unsuccessful families and many other difficult and unpleasant situations in life. But "toxic parents" are not about a dysfunctional family, but about an attitude that can sometimes spoil life.
1. Fear me - love me
Toxic parents often arrange their children "emotional swings", arranging for them that care, then love. Such children know what they can expect if their father came home from work and, for example, threw the keys vehemently on the table.
2. Understand the problems of adults, but stay stupid and small
Such parents often introduce children into their problems. Moreover, they can also blame them. For example, "Dad left us because you behaved badly." Such a child should always understand, forgive and enter into a situation.
3. Be better than everyone, but you're still a loser
Toxic parents often demand from their children unprecedented heights, but, nevertheless, devalue their achievements, often humiliating and saying that he is still not worthy of pride.
4. Be frank, but expect a knife in the back
Toxic parents like to squeeze out revelations from a child by any method. But after that, the information they received can be used against the child. And not only. It can be used in discussions with girlfriends, neighbors and even sellers in the market.
5. You are terrible, but do not get better.
A child with complexes is an ideal child. Toxic parents always criticize a child and say how bad he is. But at the same time, any attempts to become better are fostered. Simply because it is not profitable for them.
6. Develop, but do not strive for the best
From the child require unprecedented success and report about them. But the way to achieve that same success is ignored. You should be the director of your company and have a lot of communication, but without leaving home, remaining a mom's assistant.
Parent-narcissus enjoys the well-being of the child for two reasons:
The successes of descendants can be teased around - let them envy.
Successful children will provide access to a better life. There are other motives.
The child is tuned to idealized scenarios to periodically remind him of the distance between him and his cherished goal. The prefix "under-" will remain in the child's file forever.
7. Listen to me, but you are guilty of failure
Toxic parents do not like everything, but they think that a child should always listen to them. A vivid example. When a guy introduces parents to his girlfriend, and they say that this terrible, this is even worse and none of them is worthy. And after reproach the child that he never found his second half.
8. Get away from me - do not leave me
Toxic parents do not want children to live separately. The child is not really let out of the field of reach under any pretext, but at the same time reproach with square meters and a bowl of soup.
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